The title is derived from English Christmas Crackers which contain a corny,rubbish, joke that everyone pretends  to laugh at. The poem is about those people who say corny, rubbish motto’s and advice that they believe is truly earth shattering. They then feel great believing they’ve dispensed great wisdom for the benefit of mankind. Of course their real motive is to make themselves feel good. In the 7 years I’ve lived with Parkinson’s I’ve lost count how many times people have said things like “live each day as if it were your last”  (what like in hospital), “take each day as it comes” ( how else can you take it) “it’s a state of mind” (no shit Sherlock) etc.


Its Christmas Cracker Counsellors I hate the most,

Yeah I helped the poor sod cope” they like to Boast

With their patronising manner they lean in and say,

make the most of your every remaining day “

Such a clichéd sentiment is pathetic and trite,

only from children would I accept such shite.

Their motivation to speak is not what you think,

while fawning they give a nod and a wink.

In order to say take a good look at me,

Aren’t I the king of philanthropy .

Some I grant don’t know what to say,

if so say nothing, it’s really ok.

I know I can make folk ill at ease,

with my demanding little disease,

but if you claim to really care,

take on board this simple dare.

Take some time to find out more

think about the things you saw.

Don’t treat me with pity or sympathy

give me understanding and empathy.


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