THE BRITISH 2

Cute little girl with South Yorkshire accent

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An example of a Yorkshire accent from the south of the region, which is distinctly different from other areas of Yorkshire. When comedians take the ‘mick’ out of the regional accent this is what they mimic in the same way a ‘mick’ taking  Scots accent is usually a Glaswegian one. I include it because it’s funny and cute but also gives an idea as to how the following conversations sounded.

 

A colleague of mine once did some charity work which involved trying to give some comfort to elderly folk, who were alone, facing their final days.

He gently knocked on the door, approached a tiny old Yorkshire lass and took her hand in his………

Where upon a tiny pair of wrinkled eyes popped open and a thickly accented voice said in a surprisingly strong voice,

“ Who the bloody hell are you ?”

“ I’m Peter, can I do anything for you ?”

“You can tell me if I’m doing it right “

Puzzled at first it took a few minutes for him to realise she was asking if she was dying correctly.

“ Yes, you’re doing fine “

“How would you know ? You died your self have you ? Of course you haven’t, You’re talking Shite !”

Taking it in his stride he replied “ No but I’ve seen a lot who have”

My colleague having fronted the old lass, given some back was begrudgingly accepted and she explained,

“ Fair dues Lad, I just don’t want to make a fuss “ !

Classic northern English attitude.

We were on holiday with my Uncle and Nana. After a sandwich break we continued home passing another lay-by on a corner. As Uncle’s car took the corner in front of us,we saw something fly off the top of his car. Later it turned out it was his wallet which he’d left there by accident.

There was a fair bit of money in it plus important papers but no cards in those days. He accepted that it was gone.

However, a week later there was a knock on the door and a bloke from Bradford, 7 miles away handed him his lost wallet saying,

“ You dropped this mate”

Apart from some missing coins everything was there. The man had been having his own sandwich break and the wallet landed in front of him.

He wouldn’t take any reward and with a cheery “Sithee” (see you) left.

The Brits love to do a bit of self-deprecating humour and if they’re not having a go at themselves will happily have a go at others. Everybody is fair game and this unsurprisingly manifests itself most noticeably in groups of males.

For example a person’s suitability for friendship is often based on his ability to cook ethnic food !

“You out Saturday Jonno ?”

“Yep, Daves coming too”

“ What’s Dave like then ?”

“He’s a bit of a prick but he does a mean chicken Bhuna”

“ Nice one, bring him along”.

When I was a trainee Optician I worked with an old guy still practising Optics. This man was a legend ! Two stories will suffice. After he’d tested their eyes, they were brought to me by Mr V. to sort their glasses out. At the handover Mr V would explain what was needed, here are two actual conversations.

  1. “ This is Mrs A, she’s a nose like a Parrot so I doubt you’ll find owt to fit her !” At which point, this being Yorkshire Mrs A, replied, after looking in the mirror “ Oh yeah, I’ve never noticed before no wonder I always have problems with my spex”.
  1. “ This is Mrs B, she’s as deaf as a post, you’ll have to speak up” followed by a little voice from the waiting area, 12 ft away saying “ I’m not that deaf love !”

In my own practice there was once a bloke putting his cap straight, looking in the mirror from all angles, wanting his prize cap just so, after a few minutes an old lad sat nearby, waiting for his sight test announced “ Ah wud’nt bother ar kid, ya look a bugger in it any road”

In all these examples nobody was in the least bit offended.

9 thoughts on “THE BRITISH 2

    1. Thank you Roland , as you well know the lands of our birth can provide endless stories, all the more interesting because they’re true life .
      ‘There’s nowt as queer as folk’.

      Like

  1. My mum And dad live in West Yorkshire, me north, the girl is more west sounding but you do get similar in the south, stuff like fair du’s hahahaha brilliant post, my Greek friend is obsessed with the geordie accent he keeps trying to do it at work. lol

    Liked by 1 person

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