PREVIOUSLY POSTED ON  Warp Thought

 

A BRIEF RANT ON THE LANGUAGE OF MARKETING

I decided to start cooking again, and rustled up some beef casserole, stew, potage kind of thing.

“what is ‘that’ dad !!”

“Your dinner, eat or starve”

“No what’s it called”

“I’ve just said, ‘Your dinner’”

Anyhow, I got out a pack of diced stewing beef from a supermarket, and on the label it proudly stated ‘ Hand cut by our Butchers’.

This struck me as a tad unlikely !

This is a national chain with hundreds of stores, can you imagine how much stewing steak would need cutting, daily, and therefore how many Butchers would be required ?

And even if it were true, so what ! What possible benefit is there ?

“Nige, this Stroganoff is exquisite, you can tell the beef was hand cut, so many beef dishes are ruined by mechanised chopping machines these days, it really worth the extra pennies”.

Stewing steak, teased apart by delicate dusky maidens..’that’ I would buy.

Stewing steak, conjured into pieces by sleight of hand

Stewing steak, coaxed into a dice by the Carmelite Nuns

Or at the cheaper end

Stewing steak, torn to shreds by angry kittens….. actually I’d buy that as well.

Stewing steak, ripped apart by whoever’s not a butcher

Stewing steak, chopped to shit by mad men.

Just a few marketing ideas.