Back to you by The Blackwater Fever.


She drank tea with a slice of lemon,

which kind of summarized the depths

of our differences.

Acerbic and sad, her words like vinegar,

made me wince, and

look for something sweet to

remove her sharp sound.

But it was sour I preferred, and she

looked fine in the morning

draped under silver-blue smoke,

smoke in which she appeared and disappeared

as sunlight first hardened, then softened

her face, a loose robe, loose enough to render

it pointless and unattractive.


There was never any mention of love

the damned do not love beyond hate,

no flowers and wine,

just cheap steaks and beer convenience,

with talk of the hatred of her god who had

made us imperfect, and want each other.

And when she went to somewhere else,

taking the silver-blue smoke,

I found myself wanting her sunlight

softened face just once more.

17 thoughts on “SHE

    1. Thank you Nandita, I wrote it with a relationship in mind but on a deeper level it’s about how we often have inner conflict with ourselves, as if we are two different people in one mind, and how this can be like a love/hate relationship with another person.


  1. An intriguing take on a presumably once deep relationship. Now soured and objectified. Emotion, movingly expressed, now recollected at a seeming distance, leaving questions unanswered in both the writer’s and the reader’s minds.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Nigel, I hear mystery, sadness and conflict in this poem.
    I see a joyless couple where she drinks tea with lemon and he with milk and sugar.:)
    The silver blue smoke looks like she has the first cigarette of the day, smoke waving and moving.
    There is talk about hate……yet you miss her sunlit face. Love / hate do exist although it sounds a terrible combination to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. All you’ve said is spot on Miriam, it is based on a relationship someone close to me was involved in. and is very literally described in the piece. But I used it to describe the inner conflict that mental illness can cause and how it is like a love/hate or toxic relationship with another person. A very personal piece that is not intended to be a puzzle, it’s just how I think at times. I’m always happy to explain the sub-meaning though this is in no way the primary way to interpret it. It is exactly how you read it. As always thank you for your comment Miriam.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Davy, I’ve a couple more of a similar style, I’m not doing them as a trilogy as is my usual want, they’re a bit more out there so I’ll drip feed em in. Just trying different styles, I found it helped me ‘get’ the likes of the beats & Bukowski.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Why thank you Ms Diana, I sure know how to spoil a lady ! I remember finding it incredibly moving and romantic one time, when myself and a girl sat in a shelter at the coast, it was pouring down. We were eating fish n chips out of newspaper (olden days) and the only other people about were an elderly couple doing the same next to us. And it warmed my heart, a lovely moment……… which was completely lost on the tart I was with haha! No future there thought I.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Fish and chips in newspaper! And a downpour! Warms my heart – although my memory of similar incidents include the scorching Aussie sun without a tart in sight. They were usually huddling so and so in the back of a “panel van” 😉

        Liked by 1 person

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